Punctuated Equilibrium

The requisite Osama bin Laden post

2011-05-05T19:13:00.000-07:00

I really don't want this to become an exclusively political blog, so I apologize for having two political posts in a row. Next one will be something new, I promise.

Everyone is stating opinions about Osama bin Laden's death and I feel a little left out. Most people are joyous, but there are the occasional dissenters who are saying things about the evils of rejoicing in someone's death. Between those extremes, I feel left out. Because I feel nothing. I'm completely indifferent. Ambivalent. Other words that mean "I don't give a fuck."

If I knew the guy personally, I'd probably feel something. If I knew someone who died on September 11th, I'm sure I'd feel something, although I don't know what. I think I'd probably feel like the average person in America right now. If this meant the wars were over, I'd be ecstatic. If I felt safer because one guy was dead, I'd at least feel relief. I'm not sure if I'm less safe now, due to possible retaliation, or if I'm about equally safe as before, but I really don't think I'm more safe. There are plenty of people left who will do fucked up mass-murderous things.

I don't want to come across like I feel sympathy for bin Laden, just in case anyone is misreading what I'm saying. He represented so many things I find wrong in the world, like blind devotion to a contradictory belief system. One that includes justification for killing a bunch of people (civilians, no less) over his interpretation of ancient books. Ideas are powerful, but I like to keep mine open for refinement.

And that's just it. Osama bin Laden the man, he's dead. But the idea of him, the symbol of Osama bin Laden, that's gonna be around for a long time. The root causes of how such a symbol can survive in the present memescape, those are still here. One of those memes is "we can kill our way out of most problems."

So really, we are upholding part of the memeplex of bin Laden when we celebrate his death. This isn't a problem because of a moral issue. It's a logistics problem. A blind spot when trying to view the world. Blinded by our ridiculous celebration of an insignificant deviation from the statistical norm of stupid ideas. Those stupid ideas are still sitting here, sitting next to us on the couch when we watch TV. We shot one brain that emitted these ideas, and yet so many of them were already transmitted before the bullet destroyed it. Now they are bouncing around in more brains than we have the ability to destroy.

I'm really not trying to preach. I'm not on a pulpit telling you that I find what you're doing morally repugnant. I just feel nothing. I kind of wish for the view that my life is somehow better now that one asshole is dead. And yet, I don't feel it. Instead I shrug at the rest of America, feeling like the weirdo I am, knowing that I will never feel kinship with people just because they live within the same imaginary lines I do.

A message to the Birther Movement

2011-05-02T20:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Birthers,

Those of us in the American public who aren't complete idiots would like to show and tell you something:

Now please kindly

SHUT THE FUCK UP

We appreciate that you may be upset with Obama and his policies, but really? This is your issue? This is the equivalent of calling someone "stupid" when you can't think of a better argument. You wanna disagree, we're ready to hear your arguments. But this was never a real issue. This was a chance to get that xenophobic mass of jackasses that are part of the conservative base to react. "That guy has a funny name. Did you know his dad was from Kenya?"

But it's ok. We understand that you don't know any better. If you did, you wouldn't set up a shitty straw man instead of coming up with a real argument. Or maybe it all ties to your elaborate conspiracy theory that Kenya has been plotting and scheming for 40 years for this chance to take over the White House. Seems likely, now that I think about it.

Now that we have that out of the way, we do hope you take our advice. We're tired of ignoring your stupidity, and honestly, it just isn't funny anymore. We giggled at first, but the joke's been played out. Move on.

Sincerely,

Punctuated Equilibrium

The History of Punctuated Equilibrium

2011-03-15T18:40:00.000-07:00

In the year 2011, a guy named Gee-off started a blog titled simply “Punctuated Equilibrium.” At first a place where he would babble incessantly about whatever was in his head, over time it became a breeding ground for the memetic foundations of the Second Enlightenment. Modeled after the “intellectual salons” of Enlightenment-era France, the greatest minds of that time would meet at the website to discuss big ideas and generally just shoot the shit.

Enlightenment II: Electric Boogaloo

Although tough to pin down exactly, the Second Enlightenment was the historical event that is generally accepted as occurring during the years 2011 – 2020. This was a time where the mass of humanity was only then realizing the amazing power of their ideas. Information had become the environment they were evolving to fit, and yet they were only then noticing that the landscape was moving faster than they could adapt to it. Exhausted, humanity stepped back a minute and collectively caught their breath.

Politics

Because Punctuated Equilibrium was designed to be a place where people would discuss big ideas, the need for memetic variation was important. No -isms were directly attached to the page, although the posts by Gee-off definitely had biases of a more liberal-agnostic-Daoist slant. Disagreement was encouraged in the comments section, with only these rules: be civil and respectful. Civil discourse from most of the political spectrum of the internet occurred on this lowly page, causing a ripple effect. Waves of respectful debate crashed out into the world.

The Meaning Behind the Name

Gee-off borrowed the term punctuated equilibrium from the evolutionary theory advanced by Niles Eldredge and Steven J. Gould. This theory states that a species could remain in a static equilibrium state where little evolutionary advancement is made, but then it is suddenly “punctuated” by a change in the environment, causing rapid evolution in the species to meet that change. Gee-off believed:

"Humanity became what it is during a period of 3 million years, where our brains tripled in size. Three million years is nothing in evolutionary terms. In the last 50,000 to 100,000 years, humans have stayed relatively unchanged physically, but have made amazing leaps and bounds culturally and technologically. Even in the 150 years since On the Origin of Species was published, humanity has been evolving in the memetic realm at a pace totally unprecedented in the history of the world."

2012 and Beyond

It was after December 21, 2012, the last day of the Mayan calendar and the expected date for many apocalyptic theories, that humanity really leaped forward. The day came and went with the only problems being people who freaked out about their impending doom and created small self-fulfilled prophesies. For the most part, however, humanity got through the event like they did for Y2K: uneventfully. On December 22nd, the world, most of which was hung-over, sat and reflected about their lives. With the biggest impending doom come and gone without even a blip (and a pretty awesome party) throughout the world, they had nothing huge to fear anymore and began to think about the shapes of their lives and how they weren't quite right. The Collective Memetic Adjustment began.

An Alternate Timeline

Gee-off revealed in later interviews that he started the blog, not out of a need to verbally masturbate all over the face of the internet, but in an effort to save mankind. He gave as evidence this video:

Although seemingly a comedic parody of the internet, he insisted this was a “prophesy handed down by the soothsayers at Those Aren't Muskets.” Not being the type to want to destroy something simply because it has the potential to cause harm, he instead advocated another path.

"I believe there is another way to avoid our impending cultural doom. We don't have to destroy the internet in the cradle, like a time-traveling infanticidal Hitler-assassin. We can make it better. As a relatively new invention, it is still in its childhood/teen phase. We just have to nurture our little internet into a healthy, functioning adult."

And with that, Punctuated Equilibrium was born.